So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
