smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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