This girl is more easily done than said...
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
please come you make the beer taste better
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
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