She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
