You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Still dying that you shit outside
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
