i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
