She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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