I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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