Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
i think i just lost a toe
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
