he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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