Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I think a kid would responsible me up
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
