Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
We are all done wearing pants today
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
