Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
