So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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