It's like God shit irony all over that family
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
