do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
