We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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