I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
You're a waste of cheezeits
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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