i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
