You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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