Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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