You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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