So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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