I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
pop tarts are not kleenex
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Randomize
