There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
