That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
