Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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