Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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