Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
The air was thick with penises
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
