how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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