Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
