It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
