Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
