he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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