just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
