All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
