i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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