Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
