im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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