it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
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