whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
