awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize