We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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