I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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