Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
