i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
