Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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