That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
