I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
