I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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