If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
