So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
