What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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