guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
