pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
