Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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