please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
