There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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