Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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