The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
