the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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