The best revenge is premature balding
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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