And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Randomize
