You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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