If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
